(A re-post from one of my earlier blog posts over on blogger)
Back at college, this used to be me. I’d wear whatever i wanted, whenever I wanted and didn’t care as much about what people thought. I was in an environment where people didn’t care whether you wore the latest fashion brand or whether you had face paint on your face as you walked down the street. It was art college and probably the best few years of my life. Not only for the people I met, but for introducing myself to the person I actually was underneath.
After reading ‘Plug into your weirdness’ by Gala Darling, I realised that I only maintain a little bit of this, but find myself obsessing over social media and how other people think of me. Deep down I know I shouldn’t but find it so hard not to.
When you’re trying to run a business you surround yourself with twitter, Facebook, Instagram and blogs. You find yourself staring at other people’s pictures and wondering why or how they got the many likes they did. It’s awful and I hate the fact I do it, but still I carry on. I find myself looking at beauty blogs and model’s blogs trying to figure out how to make myself look prettier. Then it dawns on me again!! ‘Stop it!!’
Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at the things which made you who you are. Not on the outside but that person whose hiding deep underneath. For me it was always art, weird dancing, photoshoots and dressing up. It was listening to weird music, reading inspiring material and writing. These things came so natural to me and I felt extremely comfortable doing it.
I’ve lost some of those things along the way, as you grow up you feel as though you need to conform. You see the world through social media and look at your own life through a microscope picking up only on the bad points.
I’ve spoken to a gentleman for a while now, he’s a sweet gentleman and has told me that he wants to undergo a sex change. At first I felt unsure for him, but after a while of talking to him, I can now see how excited he is to do this. He knows who he is and knows how to change to be deep down who he feels he wants to be and I admire this. I admire his strength and determination to show the world who he really is.
So with all this thought…. I think it’s time to go back to being me.
Thanks for reading 🙂